Boarding Life, or Canoeing during Boarding

Boarding's been pretty good, I guess. Minus the fact that I got sick on the Monday of the first week. Pity that I missed rock climbing, but still, it was alright, 'cause I didn't bring track pants. ;p Overall, the first week was pretty much alright, though I had to get use to waking up early (even if I'm in Boarding) for land tutorials.

Land Tutorial. I always dread going for land training/tutorials. And I hate it when it rains, 'cause we have to do land. I know I should be pushing harder than EVERYONE during land, because I have the worst stamina in running, the slowest in sprinting, the weakest in terms of my arm strength. And since we're JH2 girls, we're the weakest lot. And I'm the weakest of the weakest, and overall, the weakest in the entire team of 72 members.

Running is the worst for me. In 201, even though I may be the top few runners, and people are like "[i]t's good enough!" but it really isn't enough if you're in canoeing. I mean, my timing is 13:29 for 2.4km, and all the other girls are clocking 12+. Jiawen can run 2.4 at an easy pace and with a shin injury and clock a timing 1 minute faster than mine. Wang Wei's tied for second in 201, with Demon. Then Nabilah is clocking 11+. I'm not sure about Sarah and Elly, but Sarah's sure fit. She could do a pull-up when my head was nowhere close to the bar. And I'm taller than her. And I think I may be faster than Elly, but she has to leave NJ anyway.

Weights-wise, my assisted pull-ups are OK, but the rest can do much better. For push-ups, all of us are struggling with the male version, but I had to drop during our 100 push-ups last night. Sorry guys, I couldn't hold out anymore.

I think the only thing that I won't be the worst at will be during water. Jiawen's the fastest and has the best balance, and she's in the AK. The rest of us are in Tigers. Nabilah hasn't been going for much training, but she's still fairly good in the Tiger, except that she has a right tilt. So does Sarah. Wang Wei doesn't really have a tilt, but she's still capsizing a bit. For me, the only thing in which I can win the three others will be my balance on the craft. But speed-wise, I still have to push harder.

And yes, back to Boarding. The JH2 girls would meet for breakfast nearly everyday to train, and we would eat with David nearly every morning. David's my LIB, and out of training, he has the mental age of about 3. But during training, the "David-ness" kicks in. He's really hardcore on the guys, but it pays off. The seniors push us too, but not as much as he does. Maybe because we're girls...

Today, we went for make-up land tutorial, and we managed to complete 2 stations before Miss Ng got us to go for land training instead. I nearly died when she said that we were going to run 3 sets of 1km. I thought I would die halfway through the sets. For the first set, Jiawen and I chased the A div girls when they were doing team run. We only caught up to them during the last 200m, but that was good enough. We started jogging behind them lightly on Lane 1, because it didn't seem right to overtake your seniors in a way. Clarissa told us to change lane and overtake them, I think, but we just followed them through. Then, they started saying , "The JH2s have already caught up with us! Come on, up the intensity!" During that time, I just felt really guilty for chasing them. I don't mind people pressurizing me to push harder, but there's always a tinge of guilt when you pressurize someone else. Our timing was 5:13, which is about 2:05 per round. Next target: 2:00 and below per round.

During the 2nd set, I ran with Jiawen, with Grace and Xiaofeng alternating between us and Wang Wei/Nabilah. Thank you for all the encouragement, super-seniors :) or should I call you Miss Tang and Miss Lin like how Humphrey and Manfred does? Haha XD

The 3rd set was by far the slowest set, but still, the best. When you're tired, it's not the muscles that keep you going. It's your mentality. At the start, Jiawen pulled away to join Wang Wei, Nabilah and Grace, while Xiaofeng stayed with me. Adrienne told me to chase Wang Wei but I could only up my intensity. After that, Xiaofeng went with Mad so I just trailed behind Noel and Ricardo. During the final 100m was the part in which I pushed most. It was only between me and Noel. We were neck-to-neck, just both of us on Lanes 1 and 2. The entire team was screaming at both us to PULL AWAY from each other and to OVERTAKE. I sprinted like mad and so did Noel, so we tied. The encouragement really gave me a huge boost. I could hear Reuven, Jiawei and Clarissa screaming most. Jiawei was like GOGOGO. Reuven was screaming COME ON PULL AWAY OVERTAKE. Then I'm not sure what Clarissa was screaming but I just knew she was :p but thank you all the same Captain :D

So, I survived the 3km. Really good land training, one of the toughest, but very worth it. Much as I love my water training, land is really, really good for me, too.

So... that's about it for boarding. Or Canoeing.

We meet once, and never again. Or should we have been just two parallel lines?

Today, Megan asked me a question which really made me think and consider the options.

Would you rather have two parallel lines that never meet, or two lines that intersect once and never meet again?

Megan asked many people. All of them said two parallel lines. But I choose the other option. Intersect once, and never meet again.

Why did I choose that option? To the others, it was shocking. Because they had rather walk the path that has no heartbreak. And I'm choosing the path where I'll experience the whole roller-coaster of emotions, with heartbreak, anger, sadness and confusion.

It's just me. I choose emotions over nothingness. To me, it's the obvious option. For a long time, I've always chosen to value happiness as my number one. If the lines intersect once, it's gonna be the best part of our lives. And I know how to cherish and remember, and look back and smile at the memories. Live life with no regrets. So, I'll skip past all the heartbreak, anger, sadness and confusion as quick as I can. We experience it, of course, but I won't dwell on it. It's part of life, and we're just being larger at life, and that's not a bad thing. It's just one journey. We learn to let go of the regrets, and start afresh once more. Everything will eventually be a memory. Nothing's permanent.

It's kind of sad, or even depressing, that I hear others say that they choose the parallel lines. They're choosing to miss out the fun. And to skip the unhappiness. Because they're afraid. But what I've been trying to convey to them over and over again is that you don't have to be afraid. There's always someone who has your back, so why are you afraid of falling?

Live life with no regrets.

Think about it. Would you not marry him/her just because you're afraid of losing them? Or would you rather have 20 beautiful years together and he's/she's gone? At least you had the 20 years, right?

Anyways, I was just ranting on twitter just now, and I talked to Qinhan about it. I think what he said was right.

He said that I was too young to talk about such stuff. I told him that it was just part of the journey in life, part of the experience. And his reply really made me... I don't know how to put it, but it just made me think even more.

He said, "yea true, but somethings you'll have your whole life to figure out, so why the rush? Enjoy the moment."

I'll do that. I hope y'all do that too. Just like how he said, take a break. Pause for a moment, admire the sunset for once, marvel at the greenery of the trees and the blue of the sea. Then your trip will be much more relaxed and happier.

Learn to let go. Let go of the regrets. Stop existing. Start living.

Things I want to do before I'm gone (I'll check them off when I complete them), things I'll never do EVER in my life.

Things I want to do before I'm gone:

1) Scale a mountain purely on foot (or at least 85% on foot)

2) Go Bungee Jumping

3) Have a proper conversation in German with a local German on the streets of Germany.

4) Finish the entire collection of Encyclopedia Britannica. (I'm still stuck on the 'A' section. Only read till the part about Marie Antoinette saying, "Let them eat cake.")

5) Volunteer at a cancer hospital for young children

6) Adopt a pet.

7) Go parachuting (I've only went for para-sailing)

8) Visit an orphanage in the slums.

9) Build a hut with my own hands.

10) Buy my own boat after I really learn to balance in it (A purple-yellow Nelo) 

11) Make a woolen sock 

12) Make hot chocolate and roast marshmallows by the fireplace and read a good novel on a winter's night. (Sound classic, eh?)

13) Learn to put an engine back into place.

14) Work in hospice care

15) Make a difference in a stranger's life.

16) Cook a decent meal or bake an edible cake for my future guy :)

17) Stargaze in the forest with him

18) Shave my hair off for Hair for Hope

Things I won't do:

1) Abortion

2) Be selfish and do things for personal glory

3) Call someone a b*tch (I know how it feels like to be called that way, even jokingly, so I won't let anyone go through the same feeling.)

4) Betray someone for personal gain, or to defame someone.

5) Be rude to someone no matter how mad I am.

6) Give up on you, no matter how else people think of you, or how you think of yourself. There's always a way out; everyone deserves a second chance.

7) Put a healthy animal to sleep.

8) Look down on anyone, no matter who or what you are.

9) Smoke 

10) Do drugs

11) Lose my faith in God ;)

12) Stop someone from going further

13) Laugh if you fall.

14) Plastic surgery just to look "prettier"

15) Slap someone.

Thanks for being there. All the time. <3

2 Days to NSCC - To the C Div (but to the seniors too)

2 more days to my second sprint race... NSCC. My first Nationals.

We've been training for only 3-4 months, whilst our opponents have been training for at least a year. It really makes a difference when you just start training. Yes, we may be classified as the "weaker" ones, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. Yes, we're taking Tigers and JKs, and our opponents are on the AKs, Nelos and maybe zedtechs even.

Whatever it is, don't give up. You never know what the result will be until you race. We stand as much chance as the others. It's not the number of trainings you go down for which determines your result in the race. It's your mentality, your attitude, your perseverance and your HUNGER. If you finish the race knowing you've pushed past your best, you've won. If you had paddles suckishly and won a gold medal because your opponents capsized, is it good? Honestly, I'd rather give my all and come in last than not giving my best and coming in first.

Even if we don't win or enter the finals, the race has left us with the experience and the memories. That's the most important part. Whatever the results, be it first or last, everyone's behind you. We win as a team, we lose as a team. We still love you no matter what happens.

If you enter the race knowing you're going to lose, you WILL lose. If you enter race treating it as a brand new set, as another chance God has given you, you will always stand a chance. You can do this. We can do this. Desire to win, and you'll have the most magical feeling in your life. Racing. God won't give us more than what we can handle, so face it bravely. Forget about the balance, the shaky craft, the opponents. See it as just you and your boat. And the reservoir. That's all.

Stay strong guys. We're behind you. 

P.S. I'm in a half-emo, half-stressed mode now. I know it doesn't sound encouraging. 'Cause I'm not in my encouraging mood...