One last week.

We have one week left for boarding, before we check-out. I really wanna spend some quality time with my friends and all for once, but I have to train. I have to make up for what I didn't do, for the boats we didn't pack up, for only going for one land tutorial this week.

DBS Carnival is on Friday, and NCC's on Saturday and Sunday. Then, I'll be in Malaysia from Monday to Friday. Saturday's the PTM, Sunday's my break, then between Monday to Wednesday, we have the June Bonding Camp. After a day of break on Thursday, we have to do CWO on Friday. Going to be busy these two weeks, but I'm looking forward to the overloading phase, in a way. Time to truly start training.

Had DB today. It was the third time I've paddled in the dragonboat, but this time, I was the senior. :) I think the fact that we have already learnt how to kayak helped a lot in DB. I could pull better, twist, and my muscles weren't exactly aching, unlike last year. And I was following the strokes of the C paddlers, so I think that was when I got my technique.

Then, for Wednesday, I just want to apologise to all the seniors who went down for water. I'm the QM, and I didn't call for pack-up, so the six guys had to do all the work. Guys, I'm really, really sorry. We didn't know, but we'll never do that again. Thank you for accepting our apologies; thank you for staying strong during your pack-up.

Overall, this is my last week. I'm going to train. In the mornings and afternoon, and maybe some light weights in the evening/night. And reflect on this semester's results.

Haven't been doing too well, but I didn't do as bad as I expected. I got 4As, 2 Bs and 1 C+. C+ for LA, then the Bs for IH and Math. I kind of expected the Bs and C+, but I didn't think I would get a single A. Except for GA. I actually wanted A+, but I only got a borderline A. What was wrong with our songwriting and sequel? My trailer had a hell lot of sound effects and music, and I completed it all the way till the end..

But on a happier note, I got 4th in GS (as compared to last place in the previous year) and I topped both ATTs (after the bonus marks for part one). And I got A in Chinese, which means a lot. I speak Chinese a lot more than the others in school, but I'm not exactly very good at recognizing the characters and understanding the meanings. But I can write decently. Even though my compo wasn't an A grade, I'm quite satisfied with my own writing.

For LA, I could have topped comprehension if not for the lifting... and I ended up dropping from 1st to near to last or rock bottom. I'm really disappointed with my IH, since I want to be in AH, but sometimes, I just can't concentrate. I have one more semester to pull my grades up now. For Math, I just gotta practice more, and not be complacent if I do well (but I didn't do well...), unlike some others.

We're gonna get streamed again for Chinese and Math I think. For Chinese, I'm not sure if I'm going up to the top class. But I can at least have a guaranteed spot in the second class. Then, for Math, I got a bad feeling that if we're streamed, I'm just gonna head to Beta. Goodbye Alpha and Mr Pok, and the top 3 class :(

So, gotta eat something now. Or drink. Guten nacht, meine Freunde.

Life without limbs, Life without limits - Nicholas James Vucijic

Watch this and you'll know what I mean. Nick, you're my inspiration; my hero. I love your books, I love your videos, and most of all, I love your outlook in life. I cried after every video I watched on you. I'm just amazed at your optimism, and I really reflect each time I look at your face. Thank you for your message.

If you are really too lazy to watch the video, this is just something he said.

To all the girls out there, I just want you'all to know that you are beautiful. You are gorgeous, just the way you are.

It's not the looks, it's the way you treat others, the way you treat YOURSELF, and what you will do for someone.

Make a difference.

You can and you will.

You only stop when you collapse - Seriously?

I'm currently having a sore throat with no lack of phlegm (no comment on the colour here). And I think I'm going to pass out anytime if we're training at this rate.

I mean, even though there was prize giving and labour day, with 2 less training days, the two land trainings are just about enough to make me scream and cry and scream again then collapse in the middle of the track and roll my way to the toilet to throw up.

Why? Why are they pushing us so hard? This hardcore training only started after Nationals. Yeah, for next year. Yes, I know, we have to beat TMS for the B Div title next year. Yes, we'll train hard. We'll push to our maximum. But I can't take it anymore. 3km, one day break, 3.2km non-stop, with people telling you up your intensity every 10 seconds. Seriously?

Is it because the A Div didn't maintain their 1st position? Is it because they think we have the potential? It's not that I don't want to train. I do want to, but could you let us have a break at least. Or at least do not throw everything at us at one go. It's too much for me to cope now.

Every morning, I wake up the earliest in level 5, change to my canoe stuff and brush my teeth and head for breakfast. Then, training. Then, class time. Then, during recess, I grab a bite to replenish my energy. Class again. Lunchtime, I spend it with the buskers, chatting a bit, eating, joking. Then class once more. I'll be sleeping by then. After that, training. Then, return to boarding to eat like mad, then run up to bathe like mad, pack my study prep stuff as quick as possible, then fly down to the dining hall to study. After study prep, stay back for project. After lights out, study in my room until I can't take it anymore. Brushes teeth, change to PJs, collapse onto bed and falls asleep immediately. Then the cycle repeats again and again and again.

Training helps a lot. I really love training. I love the things we do, the bonds we have. I love the team to death. They're my road family. But sometimes, I need others too. I can't even find the time to talk to anyone besides the canoeists.

Whoever's setting our programme, I hope you know what we're going through now. Our results are dropping. A lot. We're pushing like mad. I'm sure we're pushing more than you are when you were in JH2. We're going for water more than the required, we go for land four times a week and we go for study session. But it doesn't seem enough sometimes, to the seniors. Guys, I wish you would understand that we're not as fit, not as old, as all of you. We need our rest sometimes too.

I will push on like how I always will. Always. I will only stop when I collapse. When I faint. But if I'm going to die just because I'm pushing, what's going to happen?

Life happens when we're busy planning other things.

I'm not mad. I'm not complaining. I'm just asking for a short break. I'm asking for a programme which allows me to push hard, but not on the verge of collapsing.

I really love the sport. I really love you all. Always have, always will. I'll still be as strong as ever. I'll still push as hard as ever. I promise.

I hope you guys understand. I'm sorry I don't have that much strength and will to cope with the overloading phase. But I promise I'll grow from here.

Heart and Soul, Go the Distance <3