I'm currently having a sore throat with no lack of phlegm (no comment on the colour here). And I think I'm going to pass out anytime if we're training at this rate.
I mean, even though there was prize giving and labour day, with 2 less training days, the two land trainings are just about enough to make me scream and cry and scream again then collapse in the middle of the track and roll my way to the toilet to throw up.
Why? Why are they pushing us so hard? This hardcore training only started after Nationals. Yeah, for next year. Yes, I know, we have to beat TMS for the B Div title next year. Yes, we'll train hard. We'll push to our maximum. But I can't take it anymore. 3km, one day break, 3.2km non-stop, with people telling you up your intensity every 10 seconds. Seriously?
Is it because the A Div didn't maintain their 1st position? Is it because they think we have the potential? It's not that I don't want to train. I do want to, but could you let us have a break at least. Or at least do not throw everything at us at one go. It's too much for me to cope now.
Every morning, I wake up the earliest in level 5, change to my canoe stuff and brush my teeth and head for breakfast. Then, training. Then, class time. Then, during recess, I grab a bite to replenish my energy. Class again. Lunchtime, I spend it with the buskers, chatting a bit, eating, joking. Then class once more. I'll be sleeping by then. After that, training. Then, return to boarding to eat like mad, then run up to bathe like mad, pack my study prep stuff as quick as possible, then fly down to the dining hall to study. After study prep, stay back for project. After lights out, study in my room until I can't take it anymore. Brushes teeth, change to PJs, collapse onto bed and falls asleep immediately. Then the cycle repeats again and again and again.
Training helps a lot. I really love training. I love the things we do, the bonds we have. I love the team to death. They're my road family. But sometimes, I need others too. I can't even find the time to talk to anyone besides the canoeists.
Whoever's setting our programme, I hope you know what we're going through now. Our results are dropping. A lot. We're pushing like mad. I'm sure we're pushing more than you are when you were in JH2. We're going for water more than the required, we go for land four times a week and we go for study session. But it doesn't seem enough sometimes, to the seniors. Guys, I wish you would understand that we're not as fit, not as old, as all of you. We need our rest sometimes too.
I will push on like how I always will. Always. I will only stop when I collapse. When I faint. But if I'm going to die just because I'm pushing, what's going to happen?
Life happens when we're busy planning other things.
I'm not mad. I'm not complaining. I'm just asking for a short break. I'm asking for a programme which allows me to push hard, but not on the verge of collapsing.
I really love the sport. I really love you all. Always have, always will. I'll still be as strong as ever. I'll still push as hard as ever. I promise.
I hope you guys understand. I'm sorry I don't have that much strength and will to cope with the overloading phase. But I promise I'll grow from here.
Heart and Soul, Go the Distance <3
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