"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms."

Yesterday was a really productive day, I paddled in the morning, did weights in the afternoon and had a really lovely dinner at Food For Thought with A and B girls! Thank you to Ms Ng and Ms Tan for treating us to this meal :)) The portions weren't very big (but then again the B girls ate burgers/pasta), but we had sides and desserts too :D it's quite pricey but I would love to go back again, maybe with the buskers!!

It was the first time I saw rain in Singapore the past two months (it rained on Sat/Sun but I was in M'sia), and finally the grass will turn green :P

We watched videos from NJCC yesterday, and I'm so proud of the B girls for fighting really hard during the races :") I think it's pretty amazing how the team can recognize each other in the video through our paddling styles; knowing so many people individually in a sense, just like a big family, from little kids to uncles and aunties (currently at the transition stage from a kid to being an auntie)

Yesterday's weights was by far the most tiring one in the past months, but the atmosphere was really good. Everyone was shouting encouragement, and we just kept pushing on for each other, and that's what a team truly is.

Shoulder press squats were the killers, and leg press was like a "labour ward" (quoting from Risa). My last station was bench press, and I nearly dropped the barbell on my face because I was already exhausted. Tomorrow will most probably be the same program, but it's gonna make us a lot stronger for nationals :)

I felt that this picture was pretty apt :)

It's just 3 more weeks. The days are flying past so quickly.

It's a tad worrying, but I'm looking forward to my first race of the year ;)

the best teammates I could ever ask for <3

Transition to the deeper part of the post.

A couple of days ago, I stumbled upon a quote which gave me a lot to think about.

"You are born, and then you die, but in between you can do anything you want."

Many of us have a life planned out for ourselves; we know what we want and we work towards it. But it's healthy to just let things flow. 

Many people have their own bucket list (I do, too), and we tell ourselves, "when I graduate, I'll go to New York with my friends.", "I'll visit Venice with my man", "We'll cliff dive together". But what if one day he's not around anymore, or your friends have changed, or maybe you got diagnosed with an illness and left confined in bed. Things won't go the same way as it used to be. It's easy to say, "suck it up and move on", but deep down, you are gonna endure those emotional struggles from within, trying to keep a brave front and continue doing the same things as before, as the time ticks your life away. No matter how good your plan is, there's nothing in this world that is foolproof. Something's bound to go wrong, everyone will have their own dark periods, we will all feel lost and uncared for when people just disappear and problems march in the wrong direction, mounting higher and higher.

Then comes a breaking point.

And there are various paths to walk.

You can choose to come to terms with it. Not in a matter of minutes, hours or days. But it will come with weeks and months of reflecting, of doing things you love, of learning to calm down. There will be many points of time you are disappointed by what seems to be the never-ending setbacks, when you envy people for their bright smiles, for not having a care in the world, but the truth is, they've endured a storm before. But they just shook off the rain drops and waited for the sun to rise. And when it finally did, they dried their long travelling cloaks, and not long later, they continued on the journey. It slowed them down, but there's no rush. 

Or you can choose to accept that your fate will never change. You can keep assuming that things will stay this way, that your life will remain in this miserable state. 

People will tell you that you are not good enough. 

People will tell you that you're not worth it. 

People will tell you to just give up. 

But it's all up to you whether you believe what they say is true.

If you love yourself enough, you will walk away from it and give yourself a better chance.

I'm still learning to love more and desire less.

To understand that there's no need to live up to anyone's expectations but your own.

And not to be ashamed of voicing out on my beliefs.

There were many times I wanted to disagree with someone so badly, but I just kept quiet out of fear of offending others. I didn't want people to use the words I once said against me. I really try to hurt no one through my own actions and words, but I hate listening to things I don't agree on (and yet I'm afraid to speak up). One, mocking of others' appearances. Two, criticism of their choices. And the last, negatively influencing others to follow what you believe in (and that may not necessarily be right). 

I believe in Christianity. But I'm truly interested whenever people talk to me about their various religious practices. It's fascinating to hear them speak up about their beliefs, and I admire them very much for doing so. I know people who are firmly rooted to their own beliefs, to the point that they resent others who have different religions. I believe that everyone has their own rights to make choices, and that no one has the power to force them into certain decisions. Whoever you are or whatever you choose, no one has the right to deprive you of your happiness, no one has the right to insult your race or religion. I'm not sure if it's 'morally proper' to speak about this topics on a public platform, but I stand firm on this.

I'm slowly learning to speak truthfully but without bad intentions, and it's very hard to phrase the words properly. 

I believe that honesty is one of the most important values of friendships.

After listening for so long a time, it's time to start talking.

I've learnt to stop being angry at people and at how things turn out to be. Still, there are moments when I'm upset, and while the first step of voicing your thoughts is hard, I've realised that things do get so much better afterwards. And with that comes happiness.

Everyone started shaky and full of cracks, but little bits of joy and moments of laughter filled up those holes. People existed to bring us happiness, to give us a stable support. There will be times when we are knocked down and dented once more, but different people will come in to keep you sane, to let you hang on to the belief. Then some things will cease to exist, but it doesn't mean that you don't have a reason to live. People, sunsets, animals, laughter. Those little things that happen every minute add up to our thoughts of our day, and these feelings will span for weeks and months and years. And before you know it, so magically, everything falls into place. Happiness makes our lives whole :)

One day, when you know you're going to die, it's time to let go of all the troubles and just live the last days as best as you can.

Be honest with the people you've wronged, admit to the lies spluttered out in an attempt to impress others.

Apologize to those you hurt, stitch up the seams on every broken promise.

We don't just mend our own faults. We go beyond ourselves. 

We tape up torn papers, glue together pieces of china, tighten loose screws.

Doing all the things we should have done.

We used to have years of free time, but everything was wasted away.

Only in the path of impending death do we finally learn to appreciate little things.

When you are going to die, medals and checkbooks no longer matter.

It's the people; those intangible things such as love and compassion.

If people are so important in letting us leave this world without worry or uncertainty, why do we spend our days blaming them for life's unhappiness?

When you're angry at someone, or someone is mad at you, neither has the upperhand.

There's no use and no need for both parties to be unhappy.

Much as you feel it isn't your fault, have you ever paused to consider if you're being objective?

It doesn't hurt to say sorry. It's hard but whatever that follows will be the best for the both of you.

Things may turn out even better than before.

You never know.

We never know. 

You are pissed and annoyed and irritated that she's being myopic.

But everyone sees things in their own point of view.

It's normal, but yet we don't like the norm.

Don't be angry.

It's really not worth it.

And you know that this isn't the first time.

You don't need to 'stand it'.

I don't 'stand it'.

I just let things flow.

Do the things that make them happy, because you will always find joy in others' happiness.

After the whole rollercoaster of emotions, the waters will be still.

There will be hurt and betrayal and anger.

But faith and love and happiness surpasses all these.

We always remember the storms and floods and how the roofs of houses were torn down.

But we can always keep the pictures of sunny skies and golden beaches and blooming flowers close to our hearts.

One minute of unhappiness at someone gives us one less moment to live and fight for.

What for hold on to the things that keep hurting you?

Everyone struggles, and some hide it better than others.

^This struck me quite hard.

I couldn't help but add in something from my fandom.

Goodnight :)