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It's been a pretty hectic week.

Full of ups and downs, running wild with emotions. I've learnt a lot, honestly. A couple of near-breakdowns, burying my head into my pillow every night, wondering where I went wrong. Dragging myself out of bed, worrying about living up to your expectations, just trying to face things with an open heart. It's better to hurt myself than to hurt you because it's gonna snowball into something huge and I'm tired of it.

Okay back to the not-so-emotional times. (I'm going to skip all the parts on assessments because there's literally nothing worthwhile to talk about)

Wednesday: 2.4 Time Trial with basketballers + pull-up trial

It was so damn stressful, I swear. I spent the past week thinking about how I was gonna run the 6 rounds, and I finally decided to start upping the speed at the last 400, rather than the last 100m like I usually do. And I chionged the first round just like in camp, and I forced myself to sprint forward to catch up with the girls who overtake me. It caused my breathing to go crazy, because of the sudden increase and drop in speed, but it really helped to improve my timing. When Angie asked me for my PB on Tuesday, I told her, "You'll see tomorrow, I'm going to get my PB tomorrow." When I said that, I was really doubting myself inside. But that was another reason that made me push for the trials. I'm just glad I clocked my PB, with the presence of the bballers pushing me really hard, so thank you for joining us on Wednesday :)

For pull-ups, I just can't do one. I'm going to give myself two weeks to hit my first pull-up.

And thank you to the girls who came down to the grandstand to support me :)) it really means a lot (even though I didn't see or hear you cheering me on :P ) but it's really heartening to know that I have such wonderful friends who are willing to skip one morning of sleep/studying/playing to look at my face, love you :-*

Wednesday was the most emotional day of the week though. Thank you for being there for me all this while :") just know that I love you alot <3

Thanks auntie and yingo for listening to me rant, and to Celeste for the message early this morning and in the evening :) it really means a lot to me, it helped to get the load off my chest ;))

Friday: Roadrun.

I'm proud to say that this is the first roadrun which I didn't walk :P but I kind of wish that there'll be two rounds, one of which is the 'competitive' one, then the other one is where we can take our time and enjoy the scenery :) I didn't have time to look into Marina Reservoir at all because I was panting so hard.. Kallang brings back really fond memories, but it's been a long time since I last paddled there, but I hope we'll be back during the DB season :-)

And I managed reach my target of Top 20, and it's my first NJ medal :) the rest are 5km finisher, 16km finisher, DBS Regatta finisher medals. And the other two medals are from Scrabble and Captain's ball in P6 hahahah XP

I managed to spend time with the buskers, Wang and Ironman around the barrage, but not before taking pictures with the oneders! (MEGAN EYEBROWS QUEK UPLOAD THE BUSKERS PHOTOS OR ELSE)

Then B div Gardens By The Bay expedition and boats check and trials with Hwachong, it was really tiring and the wind was so strong during the race sets, the K4 couldn't even push away from the pontoon when we were turning.

Nationals are in 5 weeks, I can't go for NJCC because of the Kuantan trip (but if the drought happens at Kuantan then I can), this is just so worrying. Everyone in the team is stressed over different things, but as Yingo said, we're gonna get through this together :)

This post is all over the place, I'm not in a mood to rewrite it so here's the post that no one's waiting for.

Another post will be up soon :)