Today's a day I'll remember for a lifetime to come. My first canoeing competition. NJCC. The memories are unforgettable, be it before, during, or after the race. Mostly, it's after the race. The emotions, the words of encouragement and all. I've really seen the bonded side of our team. We are a family. They truly care about us. No doubt about that.
I was in for two events - 500m JK1 and 500m JK2 with Wang Wei. My first race was the individual one, and it was the fourth race of the day. I was really nervous, especially after seeing Sarah capsize at the start line. Everything went fine, but I came in last. I already expected that, so not so much emotions, I guess.
My goal was give it all for the JK2 event. Wang Wei and I have been training for this for two months, and it really means a lot to us, even if it's just the heats. If we lose, the pain and disappointment will be halved, but if we win, the victorious feeling will be doubled. But we had trouble adjusting our seats at the pontoon and Brendon got the commentators to delay our event by five minutes. We reached there dead on time, though we had to adjust our boat's positioning because the Lane 2 craft was blocking our way. We had a poor start due to direction, but after that, the boat went pretty straight, but we came in last, again. Plus, I wasn't sure if we were in the correct lane, because so many boats cut through our lane.
It was really emotional afterwards. We had to swap the craft with Ohana and Elly immediately afterwards, and once we passed our paddles to the seniors, the waterworks started. Wang Wei started first, then after a minute or so, it was me. I cried over the loss, disappointment, and the fact that I didn't know if we were disqualified or not.
Ying Rui, thank you for all the hugs and encouragement, I know you tried to comfort us at the pontoon when we were crying. And Ronnie, thank you for being there all the while, trying to calm us down. And to the rest of the seniors, thank you for all the words of encouragement that we did well. Thank you for the pats on the backs from you guys. Choo Wei, Celeste, Tammy, I know you guys kept patting our backs without much words, trying to comfort us, so thank you. Even through all the emotions, I noticed it. Celine, Junxiang, Samuel, Reuven, thank you the words of encouragement too. Reuven, I really love your optimism. The thumbs-up to us really helped. Junxiang, Celine, thank you for being there all the time. Thank you for talking to us, comforting us and everything. Really appreciate it. Adrienne, I know you were super shocked when you saw Wang Wei crying, and that you were even more surprised, when I broke down right in front of you. Thank you for the encouragement too. Nanfeng, thank you for the encouragement too. And Grace, same too. You may not know us, you treated us just like we were family.
After the race, Ms Ng talked to us about it, calming us down. Wang Wei quietened down first, but I was still sniffling. Then, when it was time for Wang Wei to launch, I was alone there, so I decided to go to the toilet to calm myself down. Then Jiawen and Nabilah arrived. One look at my puffy eyes and they knew something was wrong, and of course, they asked. I just couldn't answer them. I just took Jiawen's hand and dragged her along before I found my voice. I only managed to get a few words out before I started crying again. I think she got the gist of it, then she started rubbing my back, which really helped. On the way, I passed by Jamie, who smiled but gave me space, though she mouthed to Jiawen "What's wrong". At least I think she mouthed that. Then Madeline came along. She saw the tear streaks, of course, but she just smiled and went on, giving me the space. Thanks Jamie, thanks Madeline. In the toilet, I just mopped myself up and headed back to do my homework.
I couldn't concentrate though, 'cause I was still in that "might-cry" mode. At least, I was alone to control the emotions. Then Madeline came over to give me a pep talk that really worked. She told me about how Wang Wei and I did well, to ask me about how I felt about our performance, what went wrong, and about her own experience when she was my age. I felt emotional again, so I didn't exactly looked at her into the eyes, because I know there were already tears brimming at the sides. But it really helped. The words of encouragement and hugs from her really made me understand how it's like to be so bonded, just like a family. Thank you, Mad. You're really the mother of the team.
Rui Ting told me about her experiences too, and that made me feel much better too. Thanks Rui Ting. Wang Wei and I trained around the bay, and afterwards, we felt much better. During lunch came the shock of our lives.
I wanted to know if we were disqualified, so Rui Ting checked the results on her phone. We weren't. Instead, two other schools were out. So, we're in for semis. Due to sheer luck. And I was in for the JK1 event too. Three others were disqualified. So, the waterworks were sort of for nothing. But I really loved the feeling of family, well, love.
So, I qualified for semis for all my events, even though I came in last. Luck. Pure luck that the others broke the NJCC rule. Either DNS or DNF. But still, in the semis, I got last and we're out. No waterworks this time, as we already accepted our fate. Maybe a bit after the JK2 event, but there was more of spitting and swearing rather than crying. Most of it came from me.
Jiawen was really good. She was so close to getting into the finals. She cried afterwards, and it's really understandable. Nabilah was the one she needed most, because they are K2 partners. Just like how I need Wang Wei. She's my anchor. Even as we cried, we were as one, hugging and crying as one.
So, what I want to say is this:
All of us did well. Even though we didn't win, but as long as we did our best, it's alright. We can cry, but as long as we pick ourselves up, and get back onto our boat and go all the way, then it's fine. I'm really proud of all of us, from the JH2s to the seniors. Thank you for all the love. All of the seniors are just like mummies and daddies to us when our parents are not around. Thank you guys. Really, I love you all.
We still have NSCC. Three weeks to push hard and go all the way.
Every Drop of Blood, Heart and Soul, Go the Distance. Proud to be <3
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