Decisions. (YOU CAN READ IT ANOTHER DAY, I SUGGEST THAT.)

First thing: I may be a party pooper here or I might just offend anyone with my post, so if you don't want your happy or celebratory mood to be erased, don't read. I just needed a platform to vent it. Here goes. This is not a usual post of mine, sorry.

The first four were alright, I suppose. Fouling here and there, I smacked and jumped on people and rolled on the ground a lot. IF YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY, I CAN ALSO PLAY DIRTY WITH YOU. I understand, I fouled a lot, and I got away a lot of times. The thing is, when my team fouls, the possession is switched, but when the other team fouls, no, game plays on. What the hell.

I will let it go for the SWAGGERS team. After all, they were JH1s, our juniors. As seniors, of course we told them they rocked and we sucked. Maybe we do... I went easy on them, and everyone else did too. I didn't even foul and I didn't scream so much. We played fair. And that's when they start fouling and getting away with it, not to mention getting on my nerves, especially those junior guys. I know they are good, their team is good. We could have won really easily, except that we let them foul without arguing, because after all, they are juniors. I have one direct junior from WGPS and one canoeing junior, so okay, no complains. If I had been a not-so-nice senior.. I wonder what would happen if I fouled the girls on that team. Break their bones?

For the 07 matches, we fought. I wanted to scream during the third match that if they are going to keep fouling, I'll make them regret. Throughout the first three matches, I was muttering under my breath to calm myself down, but I couldn't help but spat at a few people (girls actually, but sorry, I can't find the guilt within) and smacked a few heads while intercepting. And I even applauded the referee. I'm sorry that a cheater is complaining about another cheater, but if both are cheating, lets be fair and get punished for the same things then.

For the final match, I was going to cry because I knew we would argue. And we did. It ended with tears. I understand that we want an 01 victory, but I wanted to play fair, yet I wanted to win. It ended up with a draw. My team was second.

They were going to let us win, but we argued about fairness and that winning is nothing and that we are one class. And gosh, it was so heated no one wanted to cheer when XY and I kept screaming for them to gather. I wanted to cry then again. My emotions were really jumbled.

So our team came in second. I was emotionless. I didn't care if we won, I just felt as if I didn't enjoy it. It's just me being an ass here, perhaps? I didn't want to ruin the mood of anyone, because I believed that they were happy. I want them to be, some feelings can't be put in verbally.

Some things went wrong? I don't know, maybe some decisions of mine weren't right. I did what I believed was what people would expect me to do. Not what I believe I should do. Next time, I'll follow my instinct and let y'all judge me for all you can. I will still stand up for what I believe in.

Sorry if you read this thinking it would be nothing. I'm sorry if I ruined the mood. Sorry if I offended anyone. It's just me. I'm not perfect. I'm sorry.

I just want to do what I believe is right. Maybe I'm wrong to you. Maybe.

Should I be apologising? Maybe just me, again. Me and my different opinions. Me being something else.