the rojak week

So many things to talk about, this shouldn't be too deep a post.
Before I forget anything let me list out the stuff I'm gonna talk about:
1. Land + Ergo + Lunch + the little things we do in between
2. Water
3. Catching Fire
4. Juniors
5. Next year
6. and some other stuff.

Monday was land tutorial and it was still focus planks + pullups. Pullups were so beautiful because a lovely soul (cough-chest-cough) made me do 8 seconds reverse pullups :( aiya but besides that it's okay. After that was lunch then HTHT it really helped alot. They are really good people to talk to, I'll always appreciate that :)

Then there was water, 5km before Cat 1. It was a PB for my 5km on Monday, but my cycle rate has to up more, but when there's no one to pace with, it's quite hard to do so. Usually the wash at the starts are very strong, I try to ride on anyone I can, but I'll keep on losing direction, then when the waves die out, the water is pretty much stagnant and the motivation level drops, because I'm always very excited during starts and after whacking the water for awhile, the fatigue kind of sets in.. The last charge was okay I guess, Yingrui said it was good, but I want to sort of like view myself doing it, so at least I know how my cycle rate should be like.

We did a little bit of dry paddling then coach's pushups+crunches+superman. The juniors seemed quite lost, because when coach says 30seconds left it's actually 45seconds to 1minute. During superman he was like last 10, then an eternity later, he said last 5, I was like kill me now I can't hold any longer. But overall it was good lah :)

Tuesday was weights in the morning. I was planning to bench pull 12.5kg since I was dropping to 5x6, but instead it was 3x20, so the weights had to be dropped. Hopefully, during camp, I can up the weights. And hit sub-12 for 2.4. Technically hit all the targets set during Term 2 this year. Oh and Choowei is a nice weights partner since both of us have bad aiming for med ball throw xD (and during ergo I was caught in a sleeping bag)

Tuesday water started an hour early, but it was K2 with Celeste :D we did one set of 6km, I think my cycle rate isn't high enough for Celeste to follow, but it was considerably higher than in a K1, and I can always feel the power from the back of the boat. But the last charge was good. I suppose that was the fastest last charge I've ever done before, both the power and cycle rate. Those are the few moments you'll always remember, that makes a difference, thank you for it :)

Then Tuesday night. I'm sorry I can't check my phone for people messaging me at 3.29, I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible jewel caretaker. I'm sorry I didn't carry out my maid job properly, yes it's my fault, I'm going to bow down to all 26+1 and kiss their feet. NO. I'm trying, okay, I'm really trying. I'm sorry if I can't get a response, because I'm a bad senior I can't earn any respect from talents because I'm not one, I will be grateful from now on that I'm alive okay.

They will be in my B Div 2015, and honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. How to set lineup. To make them go for land. To make them stop being late for every freaking land and water training. To learn that pushups are not just for the pain. It's to learn. It's supposed to make you feel guilty. But all I see is you all feeling that "the seniors are doing it too, I am doing it too, since we both feel pain, it evens out, it's not my fault". How to teach them that sometimes, in life, you have to run when you are late, even though you look cool walking in slowly.

I'm just a bad senior, all in all. If I can't even get them to do the simplest of things, how are we going to fight for the title in 2015? I can't take every boat with them. They have to do it themselves, sometimes. And if they can, it's because they are the jewels. If they don't, it's because of me. 对不起。

Let's stop this rant for now. It clears the mind for a little bit, but the guilt sets in. They are just there because I need blogging to do it's magic. Things will clear in a while. I hope.

Wednesday was an altogether different day. The morning, sadly, was unproductive. I hardly did the holiday homework, but instead spent the time lepaking until after lunch, when I met with Yingrui Celeste Aunty Ruiting to discuss the best way to communicate with the juniors. We were clustered at Civic's Starbucks and we had nothing to do after that so we ended up watching Catching Fire at Causeway. I watched it on Saturday with Jia too, but the movie's so good that it's worth it to watch twice, or even three times hahas ;P

Cathay had student price, a lot cheaper than at Lido (eleven dollars leh! ehh jiaxin you owe me four bucks later I add interest rate ahh XP) there were very tiny buckets of two dollars popcorn and Celeste bought hotdogs which she finished during the trailers. During trailers I ate from Yingrui's popcorn then during the movie I suddenly switched to Celeste's one. And she was so excited in her seat that she kept slapping my hand asking for spoilers and spilling popcorn onto me. Oh and Finnick is hot, especially that smile when he was eating the sugar cube ;)

The plot is really good, while the first book was better than the second, movie wise, Catching Fire is nicer. Better effects, and it didn't seemed as rushed as the first. Oh I just remembered that aunty ate her caifan in the cinema too xD

Thursday was a long day. For starters it was land. One round on the track, 2 sets of roadrun route, another one round (final 50m last charge). Whenever I run or paddle, I would always tell myself, if you can do 1km, you can do another 1km, and this way, I make myself not give up. But when we were running the first set of roadrun with the juniors, I had to go to the toilet and my motivation was that every step I took I would be closer to the toilet. Then when the juniors finished one set but the seniors continued on, I was thinking about how I wasn't half done yet because the second set was technically more intensive since juniors weren't running together anymore. During the upslope sprint at Sunset Avenue, a dog tried to jump on me and gave me a scare and I jumped to the middle of the road and I think the car missed me by just a little bit (two hard attacks in three seconds).

After land Choowei was like Shiyun you grow up already can run 8km (yes Shiyun is happy because JH1 Shiyun walked the same roadrun xD) then after land was a study session which ended up with me being nervous over the class allocations. It took me so long before I finally asked Megan if I would be happy with it then she was like YES YOU ARE GOING TO BE HAPPY (and I guess I am haha)

I got into 301, with Megan Mizuki THQ Ironman. Majority of the oneders were in 303, 305, 307. And we'll always stay as oneders no matter what. And I will chop of the head of anyone who calls themselves oneders just because they are from 301. They are 301-ers, we are oneders.

I've seen the list of people in my class. It's pretty much dominated by people from 07 and 08, I don't know if I'll like the people well enough, and while I hope we can at least get to know each other (and change our perspectives of each other), but they will never replace the oneders, AT ALL.

It's definitely going to be so competitive in the class, I know I have to work really hard. The environment is obviously not going to be fun like the oneders, but I truly hope it's not like a mugger class, because I'm definitely not one. I have half of the buskers with me, I'm really thankful for that. But because of the lack of oneders (one oneder missing is also considered as a lack of oneders), I don't know how I can be myself around these people. I never have to worry about being judged in front of the oneders, but I can't possibly live through four years of unhappiness. But as always, the oneders will always be there; they will never be too far away :)

Okay back to Thursday. We had SPIRE meeting with Mr Soh, and we finally got out a rough plan for next year, I'm honestly worrying about everything for JH3, whether I'll survive or not... I hope SPIRE won't be too hard, that it won't take up too much time. All I ask for is enough rest, good trainings, coping well (and happy) academically, time with the people I love.

I think I need to brush up on my TK skills, but it's okay I'm still young :) we were guessing each other's secret santas haha and when everyone knew each other's, I was still lost except for who I was giving to. And it took a long time for me to understand it too hahaha ;P

Let's jump to water training. K2 with Celeste again :D 6km, a couple of technique drills which were quite fun when Celeste paddled me, then 45min of free training! And it was really free training, so I went for a swim with Aunty and Yingrui then the monster duo paddled off in the K2 so I had to sadly paddle back in a K1.

I like free training :D

And about the juniors. I honestly hope that one day (I wish it will be soon) they will understand the team dynamics, that we want the best for them. I do care about them, I don't want to scold them, but I want them to learn. I have yet to have a single water/land training without someone cancelling attendance/being late/not turning up. I don't know if the message gets across well enough, but I wish it would. After the long message sent down last night, I have two people who didn't go for water. I'm disappointed, in them and in myself, but what can I do? I can't bring myself to scold them, in fear that they will see it negatively and just leave. But I can't keep telling them, it's okay, when it isn't okay to be late. I know they are physically strong, it'll be good for my B Div 2015, but what I want for now is for them to be disciplined, hardworking and passionate. And happy.

So many things happened, but it's still a nice week.

Canoeing camp next week! I hope I won't die or anything I heard we are running every day.