we'll be a family longer than forever

It was the most beautiful day of my life.

So beautiful yet so sad.

The day started well. We all knew that it was the last day in the classroom, but the mood wasn't somber or anything, unless you count the fact that it was raining for the past four days.

"Even God didn't want Friday to come." - Megan Quek.

We continued to write our farewell messages in those lovely books. We were still smiley and chatty, virtually a normal day in onederland.

When we were more or less done with the writing and a bit of admin work, there was still time left before Contact with Hoho and Virginia.

First, Megan showed the drama production we showcased in March, BOBBY, which we all laughed over. Then, the Food Trail for NE, which was a big laugh too. Then, the video.

It wasn't a video nor photo montage. It was the collection of every single memory we had as oneders, the biography of onederland. Every memory together, from JH1 till now, roadrun till boarding, recess till KL trip.

I watched it intensely. It was still amusing to look at all those photos, because the feeling hadn't exactly sunk it yet. And there was a part of me that kept on saying, "You cannot cry, you have to stay strong for the people around you. Whatever it is, don't look around." Then there was the other part that said, "Look around and feel the love. It's okay, don't keep it in."

Then, halfway through the boarding part, I looked at the table in front of mine. There was Jiaxin shaking in her seat. My eyes misted. I looked to my right, and Jolene and Wang Wei were hugging and crying so hard, I watched Jolene's face. And there was Hweesean with tears rolling down her cheeks, with Megan in front doing the same.

(I'm crying as I write this now.)

Then, they showed how much we grew up from last year. I just burst. Even though no one at my table of crying, I just watched and cried into my hoodie. I know that the others were watching, but it's not the time to be worried about being judged. By then, at least half of us were sobbing.

-Then Mrs Teo said sorry we need to go to the hall to see Hoho and Virginia and we were like zombies. The video stopped. We still continued to cry. The teachers didn't know what to do either.-

Me and Wang hugged afterwards. I bawled onto her shoulder; I never cried so hard and so long in my life. Some of the oneders patted our backs, said encouraging words, but it was an eternity before we quietened down. I quietened down for about ten seconds before crying into Megan's chest once more.

Megan and I stumbled to the hall, crying. Some 03-ers walked past us and were like "Are you okay?". I felt like screaming I'M SURE AS HELL OKAY THANKS FOR ASKING I LOOK SO CALM AND COLLECTED RIGHT NOW. It was the emotions during that time, the effect doesn't wear off so fast. So we just nodded in reply and continued to the hall, with people in front and behind us still in tears.

During the contact, I wasn't listening to a word. Every little thought of the oneders made me cry. I was either hugging Megan, in tears, or in zombie mode.

We went back to class immediately after the contact. Mr. Lee bought us Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and I made sure I ate them as fast as possible so that I didn't have to worry about choking hazards before the 'feel' returned. The second part was just as beautiful.

The testimonials were the killer.

Shots from our blogs and ask.fm were put up, and all of us were in a crying wreck. All about the oneders. The memories we made, all those little things that made us into what we are now. A family.

After the video, we went around hugging each other, all the gender barriers put aside. With the exception of a few strong people, the rest were crying. Even the guys (or men as they call it). It was my first time seeing some of the oneders crying, but it's still so amazing to know how much we meant to them, or how much they meant to us as well. Because the oneders are the world to me.

Mr Lee said that he was leaving. He told some of us that last week, he had his reasons for keeping it from the entire class. The reason why I didn't want to blurt it out (as much as I felt the oneders should know), I didn't want them to deal with an additional worry until the time truly came. The oneders didn't expect it. They started to cry once more, and I felt so damn guilty. But if it makes them feel better, I'll be there for them. Mr Lee cried too. I might not even see him or Jolene anymore after the chalet.

"We'll see each other next year." It doesn't help okay, it will never help. It's gonna be so damn different no one besides the oneders will understand it. And for Mr Lee and Jolene, we might not even see them anymore. Because of all the worst reasons. Not letting us have free time. Making us do useless things. Having the worst planning of all.

So we made a circle and each of us said something about 01. It was really emotional, even though we were laughing at some of the jokes. Many of us were so choked up, including myself. I wanted to say that I hoped that their happiness were because of the oneders, that they had made me who I am now, but it just couldn't come out. It's okay, I'm sure y'all know I love you <3

Then we sang Just The Way You Are and Best Song Ever. At Louis's line, there was silence, because we just sang out what our hearts were saying.
You know I'll remember you.

Let's calm down and think about the equally beautiful second part of this onederful day.

We had a dance party in class (which I screamed myself hoarse). Xinyi and I were in the toilet when our song Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz came blasting out the speakers, so we danced in our own cubicles instead XD

Most of the oneders headed to Vivo and we played at the pool for hours until the sun set. All the shameless photos we took, poses we made in public, disgusted expressions of passer-bys. I don't care, judge all you want, I love my oneder munchkins no one can stop us from anything. The mini poolside party was extremely noisy and full of shrieks, plus frisbee and old grandmother. The best oneder outing ever.

Dinner was dabao and hobo at level 3, watching the starry skies. It was a quiet affair, with only a bit talking and photo taking, but very surreal. (I think I've lost my touch on writing here, with the lack of vocabulary.)

Went home with Hweezy Jiaxin Demon Xinyi Aden. We talked about the oneders and the personal messages and random stuff which made us laugh once more. The oneders are so special, they can make you happy anytime and anywhere.

I don't know how I'm gonna end off this post.

This won't be the end. There will never be an end to the onederland legacy. Every single one of you mean so much to me. I would go back to JH1 and retake all the tests, bear with all the horrid teachers, just to spend time with all of you.

You made me so happy, you made everything seem bearable, seem beautiful, seem perfect. You oneders mean the world to me, and whatever happens in JH3, you must know that we are all behind you.

Whatever you choose, whatever you want, if you ever fall, we are always there to catch you. We'll be your pillar of strength. We will make you laugh, we will cry with you, we will make your life worth living.

I'm really, really lucky to be part of this onederland, to meet all of you, I haven't thanked God enough. We are meant. And if its meant to be, it will be. Which is us, the oneders.

I don't know what kind of person I would be like without all of you. Thank you so, so much for making me who I am today. Each one of you is so precious to me. We weren't just a class, we are family. We play together, we fight as a team, we defend each other. You showed me a different world from what I used to believe in.

We will always be a family.

It isn't the last day of school. There is never a last day of onederland.

It's longer than forever.

It's going to hurt,

We will have to cry.

Some things will have to be let go of,

We don't want to know the reason why.

Even if you are going to fall,

We'll catch you and let you fly,

I will always love you,

There will never be a goodbye.

(02.11.2013)

Oneders, when you're done reading this post, go listen to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol above, it reflects everything we feel.

I miss you so much.